James XII, also known as "Jay the Joyless" was a revolutionary and autocratic leader of the "United Republic" during the 1600's. He is known for his violent campaign against the Republic's schooling system. After the assassination of "Sir Isaac Newton", James personally had fifty three women burned at the stakes for the act of sexually assaulting him whilst he was under the influence of Skooma.

James is most well know for rebelling against his noble upbringing at a young age. He famously stated that "All a man needs is a fire and a chicken to cook" when asked a mathematical question that was vital in making life saving medicine. James soon had public libraries burned along with any church in the Republic. He instead instilled a hard regimen of Royal Marine training and Cocaine use for the populace.

James himself was stabbed in the back on a corner in Manchester when he was looking for clothes lines to steal off of. Upon his death bed, James requested his favorite music be played. The witch-doctor put on Mozart however he quickly learned that James preferred Mobb Deep.